Singing Scars- Sandra, Me, and the Non-Stop Trains
People often ask me where I find the courage, now that I’m in my fifties and after everything I’ve been through, to bare my soul to strangers through music. They tell me that opening up so soon is a "character flaw" or a sign that I haven't quite "matured" yet.
The truth runs much deeper. My openness isn’t a lack of maturity; it is a conscious choice to never again let the harshness of the world extinguish the child within me.
Today, I’m not chasing a career. Today, I am healing the wounds created when I was just a boy forced to grow up overnight, thrown into the whirlwind of the Homeland War without structure or parental support. While others were dreaming, I was surviving. My music is my belated return to the childhood that was stolen from me.
Sandra – A Warrior with a Poet’s Heart
On this journey of mine, one person stands as the fearless guardian of my dreams: Sandra Šućurović. My friend, my comrade-in-arms from the 1st Guards Brigade, "The Tigers." We walked through battlefields together, looked life’s cruelty in the eye, but between the two of us, Sandra was always the "older" one—wiser, more ambitious, stronger.
While I wandered through the world of fitness and nightlife, she channeled her strength into knowledge. Today, she is a psychologist for the Dinamo soccer club, teaches military psychology at the Catholic University, and mentors a new generation—including my nephew, Rey. Sandra is dominant, feisty, a true warrior who keeps the world at arm's length. But she lets me get close.
She "covers" me with her stability, and in return, I give her what her profession and her past often hide—the right to be vulnerable.
How Her Verses Became My "Trains"
The song "Feliks - Trains Without Stations" (Vlakovi bez stanica) is actually Sandra’s soul poured into verse. She writes poetry for herself, with no desire for fame. When she sent me those words, I recognized in them the same pain and the same search for peace that we both still carry from the trenches.
I set her lyrics to music because I felt that her mental strength needed my childlike playfulness to create magic. The symbiosis is incredible:
"Trains without stations... they are just thoughts, they are not you."
This is Sandra’s message to all of us who are wounded, whether by war or simply by growing up. It is her hand of support offered to those fighting the chaos in their own heads.
Why Electronic Music and a Home Studio?
Many musicians can't stand software and synthesizers because they feel there is no "living instrument" inside them. Maybe they are right; perhaps something technical is missing. But what isn’t missing is emotion.
Electronic music allows me to create that melancholic yet hopeful "Moby sound" right in my own home, without expensive studios. It’s my way of tying a pretty bow on all those ugly memories.
Art exists to provoke emotion and offer a balm for wounds. Sandra and I no longer drink coffee in run-down cafes talking only about the past. We create. We extract those heavy emotions and transform them into something that reminds us of Grandma’s kitchen, the smell of pancakes, and the feeling that everything is going to be okay.
Over 100,000 views on YouTube and an additional VEVO channel giving legitimacy to the song and video are proof that we aren't the only ones who need this peace. Thank you, Sandra, for being my leader when I need seriousness, and for letting me be the friend who brings you back into balance.
You don’t have to board every speeding train car of worry. You are the one who chooses the ticket. You are the one who creates peace within yourself.
Lyrics: Trains Without Stations (Vlakovi bez stanica)
So much rushes through our mind And many thoughts arrive at the wrong station Platforms of worry Platforms of sorrow Shifting like the colors of a rainbow
Choose your own thoughts And give them brighter hues Let the light lead you Let hope be born anew
On the colorful platforms of happiness Let your day start its motion Let good thoughts arrive at your station
Trains without stations They are just thoughts, they are not you
On the colorful platforms of happiness Let your day start its motion Let good thoughts arrive at your station Choose them as your guide Choose platforms that are new Choose them as your guide Make your dreams come true
Trains without stations They are just thoughts, they are not you
Just watch that traffic rushing by
You don’t have to board every car that flies
You are the one who chooses the ticket
You are the one creating peace within.
VEVO Channel
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